Good Morning Loves!
The first few posts I write are going to be random Bits of information to help you understand my bizarre personality a little more. No Sane person could dance through the flowers, merry as could be, while raising two Autistic children. So once I explain a few of my “ways of thinking” it may help you grasp my mental reality and help you embrace some future delusional places I will share with you later.
First off, I do NOT have friends. Growing up was rough for me, as everyone else too I am sure. All the people who were my “friends” were never very friendly. This carried on until I was about 25. Realistically the word “friend” is just a title anyway. I think it’s a title to forever be Jinxed for me. My “friends” in the past would be full of selfish intentions, lie, use people, sleep with my boyfriends, 95% focus on “what’s in it for them” and take advantage of my kindness. I know nobody can just do these things to someone, without them allowing people to hurt them. I have lived so many lessons to learn this. Because of all of these life experiences I have major trust issues. (which I am actively working on) That is a different blog for a different day.
After I had my daughter, I was awakened to what was real and what just didn’t fucking matter. That childish relationships meant nothing. I would no longer put my energy into someone else’s empowerment. What kind of sick fuck needs to put others down anyway to feel better about themselves? Unfortunately there are a lot of them out there. The key for me was to just detach myself from their ways and not react over things I couldn’t control. If they weren’t doing it to me anymore, I’m sure they’d move onto their next victim.
I know we are only human and we make mistakes. I am not expecting anyone to be anything other than what they are. By my age, we are all “who we are”. Expecting anyone to change is ridiculous. I focus on the actions of others. For so long, words were nothing to me, but “good Intentions”. You can see a persons true will by watching their actions.
I have a handful of the most AMAZING “non-friends” in the world. They are far from perfect, mess up all the time, say the wrong things, and consistently try to improve their life and the lives around them. They are the kindest Souls and usually have tough life situations as myself. I think a person can just get to a point where there’s nothing left to do but Laugh. Life is messy, but so worth the journey. It can help a person reach higher consciousness if willing to learn. It makes us who we are. Each Individuals. I write about my BNFF (Best NON friends forever) a lot. They bring out the best in me….and the worst lol, But they never abandon me. Unconditional Love. Embracing people, flaws and all! ❤
I wish you all many BNFF’s! Enjoy your Wednesday!
a Curbside Prophet
P.S. a random lesson I learned that has nothing to do with anything…”Never under estimate the power of a hot shower” 🙂