We all start off with these ideas in our head of the perfect soul mate. I actually have my trait list on my refrigerator. I tend to do my most thinking while cooking and this way I can conclude possibilities with the list in my face. My current list of traits for the “Perfect Man” (in random order) ~ Kind, Intelligent, Honest, Patient, Funny, Strong (not physically), Tall and Witty.
I asked a few people what they thought was most important for them to match with their soul mate. A couple of people told me their “perfect match” has to be fit and athletic. These two ladies are also Marathon/Exercise Gurus, of course that makes sense. Common interests are a huge thing. Intelligence came up. It sure would be tough to make a strong relationship if you can’t communicate on the same level. “A Man who knows what he wants” was said along with a “A Man who is over his ex & their issues”.
I laugh a lot and Witty remarks are the biggest turn on. This has actually been a deal breaker for me. Can’t Laugh then GO HOME! No matter how long I have had “Tall” on my list it has NEVER happened. I do realize that me being 5’9 makes the height requirement a task for half of the men out there. When I end up “clicking” with someone, some things no longer matter. Height seems to be the first one to go.
I see people who have “ideas” of what they want, but is it really attainable? I do think people should shoot for the moon with whatever they want, I just don’t think you know what you want until you find it. When you meet someone and there’s something there, your heart won’t deny that connection. Now your head might though 🙂 I guess my whole thinking is that no matter what your “perfect match” traits are, always keep your prospective open wide. You just never know.
My last relationship of over 2 years ended because trust was lost. When you love someone, no matter how bad the hurt stuff hurts, the past never goes away. I thought I could get over things, but a year later we were still in the same place. Both trapped in a prison of restrictions. Love wasn’t enough. You MUST have trust/honesty otherwise you are settling and sacrificing. Maybe it’s just because I have no fears of being alone that I was able to let go, which by the way, was far from easy. I do know of some people who stick it out. For all sorts of reasons like that is all they know, they are scared to be alone, they don’t think they deserve anything better, or they are just plain stronger than me and can forgive AND forget.
I have no problem with forgiveness, it’s the forgetting part that is rough for me. I think it’s more of a natural defense mechanism I have. Sure I forgive you, but I’m not going to put myself out there with you again. I do think people deserve 2nd chances. How else would we learn our lessons? However; when you get people who are repeating the same things over and over, I find it easiest to just write them off. I don’t hate anyone, but I choose who I want to surround me. Life is too short to be wrapped up in other people’s stuff the whole time. My life is my own and I choose to live it for me, not anyone else.
I am finding that with my strength comes criticism. Everyone likes to be liked. If I was a guy there would be no second glances at my life. I am a rare breed though. A Strong, Sure of Herself, Smart Woman who stands tall looking life straight in the eye. I deal with things immediately. Wanting to move forward! I am not looking for someone to complete me. I am looking for someone to share their life with me. (and mine with them). I know it feels good to be needed, but I’d rather be wanted. Everyone has the strength within them. You just have to Believe it to see it!! ❤ 🙂
I wish you perfect matches with infinite positive self worth