As I restart my journey to blogging, I find myself having lots of ideas of things to write about yet I feel scatterbrained as to where to start. So let us just catch up on the random thoughts my BNFF loves me for.
What have I been up to?
The past 2 months I have made a lifestyle change. I am exercising on purpose and I am aware of my carb intake. I have dropped my carb intake from about 300-400 grams of carbs a day to less than 100grams a day. I have always eaten very healthy, yet ALL of my meals included much bread, rice, potatos. I haven’t lost weight yet, in fact I have gained 7 pounds, I still can’t get into my skinny jeans, but like I said above, this is a lifestyle change. The thing that keeps me motivated to keep it up is that; I have been on anti-depressants for about 4 years now and I am proud to say that I am almost a month of being free of that. I feel emotions more now, but I am in charge of them and not vice versa. I’ve tried to change my diet and exercise before, but never at the same time. To be successful, as in anything in life really, you have to do it all or nothing. Half “assing” anything will never give you the results you desire.
How are my children?
My children are wonderful. Those close to me know that this summer was extremely draining on me as a parent. It got to the point where I questioned the higher power as to why this was given to me since I honestly believed for about 2 months that I just wasn’t strong enough. That maybe someone else should try because my kids deserve the best and I had nothing left to give. It was my truth that I was failing them. They are finally back in school and this community I live in I think saved me. The thing with all children I suppose is that they need to expend a certain amount of energy each day. Then you add the needs of autistic kids with needing a structured setting, with choices that seem like “fun” and yet won’t be over stimulating socially. This town holds it’s own fabulous events that have “parts” or “sections”. This isn’t something people would notice. For example: taking kids to the cherry festival rides section was chaos. My kids actually did well and it helped it was “special needs kids day”. The edge was removed by being surrounded by other autistic children having melt downs in the lines. Which normally, would have been an anxiety situation for the parents. The events in my town had arts and crafts in a separate building, lunch in a separate building, movie screening in a separate building. What it did was remove the chaos and structured a social event that my kids were able to handle and were able to share with their community and classmates.
When they went back to school I took the first week to sleep, grow strength within myself. I went hiking on the beautiful Betsie trail each day and was even convinced by a not friend to join her in a class called TRX. I drowned myself in the books I had been craving to read all summer.
After a few weeks of nurturing my soul I jumped back into action. I dove head first in developing a plan and presented it to the school, as to how they could help me &my kids. Coordinating home with school. This past week has been a new path for my little family. It’s working! Now I just need to focus on a day at a time.
Do I have a love life?
Ha! I definitely dated this summer and learned much about myself and the opposite sex. I don’t want to go into this too much now for if I start I don’t think I will be able to stop. This is Definetly a future blog! I do however have a date this weekend. I am to the point though were I don’t get excited and have no expectations or even faith really. You will understand completely when you hear my stories. I guess what matters though is that I am still putting myself out there & haven’t found what I am looking for yet.