Arg! Blah!

I know about and have personally read a ton of articles about body image.  I am a very healthy individual.  I find the need to express some frustrations I am having today.  As I stated before I have made lifestyle changes the past 6 weeks.  I am gaining weight, which I can only assume is from gaining muscle.  I do  NOT fit into any of my pants from last winter yet refuse to buy new “fat clothes”.  Yesterday I went to the local dime store and bought a $5 pair of sweatpants.  These are what I will be wearing in this colder weather now until I can fit into my old jeans.  
I can zip up my jeans but I look terrible!  I am so terribly discouraged.  I feel like I am starving myself, which I am not, I eat all of the time, but I am running out of things I want to eat.   Even if someone offered me a plateful of carbs I would turn them down.  I feel like I am hungry, but not for anything specifically. I now have a terrible relationship with food.  It feels like a break-up.  Where I still have to see the person everyday… (eat) and yet all they do is piss me off.  I suppose like any addiction would feel.  I’m still hiking but it’s not fun anymore. 😦
Maybe this is just a crappy whining day for me.  BLAH!
It’s my truth that I am beautiful inside and that makes me beautiful outside.

Frustratingly yours,

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