Pure Love

About: Georgianna

Georgianna went to doggie heaven on Mother’s day 2017 at 7:57 PM.  She had a huge decline in health the last week and we all knew it was coming.  Georgianna was diagnosed with congestive heart failure mid-October of 2016.  She was given 3 months to live.  We started her on the standard meds “Infamous three” I was told they called them.  After a couple months, my playful happy dog was a zombie dog.  She was still alive, but with no quality of life.  I made the decision to stop 2 of the 3 meds.  Within 24 hours she was back to her old self.  Georgianna was 13 years old.  (guesstimate from 3 vets)  I adopted her when she was 8 from a local shelter.  I walked in and asked for the smallest oldest dog they had and she was it.  At this time she had no hair on her back end.  I was told she was in rough shape when they got her.  Because of the lack of hair on the rear, they named her Baroness, for her “bare arse”.   When we got home I swiftly changed her name to Georgianna after one of my favorite literary characters from Jane Austen.  Georgianna walked down the isle with me when I married my husband.  She was always at my feet no matter where we were unless of course there was a refrigerator nearby that needed guarding.

Reflection:

I knew I would be sad when she left me, but what I never fathomed was how deep the pit of darkness would be or how many lessons would come with it.  My thought process is that I miss her, but it was her time, she is better off, I don’t wish she was “back”  Yada yada.. but after it happened I felt like I was walking around with all this “love” I had for her and my emotional body was just sitting in it.  With her gone, I had nowhere to spread this love.  I could not escape this “cloud”.  My thinking was off, I couldn’t function mentally.  In fact, the night she died I made Chicken & pasta Alfredo with scalloped potatoes.  Never in my life have I made this double carb combo.  This “lack of focus” was a new experience for me.  I also kept thinking I heard her, which later on I read is normal.  Her labored breathing was a constant sound in our home, at my feet.   Then it was time to pick up the ashes and for the first time in days, when I had her in my arms I felt relief.  Everything would be okay now that she was with me again and I could protect her and care for her again.. only this time her memory, not her physical body.

My Georgianna is now Pure Love.  She was my best friend at a time I felt much abandonment and loneliness.  She was more loyal than anything/anyone I have ever experienced in my life and I think that is why it was so hard.  She took care of me simply with love… all she did was love me.  Good days, bad days.  In the dark and light.  When I made good choices and bad ones she gave me comfort in my skin.  I wasn’t broken to her, I was perfect.    I hope you all get a “Georgianna love” during your time on earth.