My children and I are visiting relatives back in my hometown. It isn’t where I grew up, but where I have always considered “Home” to be. I have new personal goals for my relationship with my kids. We are always together, but I want to make more of this time. I am invading their space and encouraging their minds. I want to give them daily life experiences and create memories. My older two are teenagers, going through new feelings and trying to grasp those pesky hormones. Then I also have a 3-year-old who I am intensely working with because of delays.
Being a Momma is my super power. The one life skill I feel I do well. Some people are good at sports, others at running businesses. Me, I am a Super Momma. I am absent in mind with personal desires and my entire being is for my kids. I go without so they never have to. I am human though. I have a longing for travel. Someday I will have a chance, just not within the next decade or two.
Back to my kids. I want them to live life, not watch it go by. Autistic or not they should experience life. When my older two were about 8, I would try to explain things to them like how tall mountains were or how red the desert could be. Autism got in the way of grasping those concepts. So each summer we would get in the car and take off for a weeks at a time. I would drive them to see the mountains. Camp there to absorb the environment. Hands-on learning experiences. I think the success of their development is due to the life I showed them in a way for them to fully understand. I taught them in ways they were able to learn.
My 3-year-old is behind verbally. Since we’ve been “home” he has gone hiking, kayaking, swimming, exploring, camping and so much more. He has the freedom to “be” and is curious about the world not available to him where we live. Yesterday, for the first time ever he was trying to learn words. Objects by name repeating after me. This morning he walked me over to the kayaks and touched the green one we had gone out on days earlier and said “more”. He has a full life where we live, I think maybe he just found out the world is so much bigger and he got excited and wants to experience more. Now he is trying to communicate with me personally because I am his tour guide.
Every day I am thinking of how I can connect with my kids. Maybe a board game, movie marathon, going for a hike somewhere new? Asking them questions about what they think or feel about certain situations. What their favorite part of their day is? Can they find a recipe they want to make for us all to create together? Is there a person they would like to write a letter or send a drawing to? Can we donate things we don’t need anymore & then talk about where things go when we donate. Pick up 20 pieces of trash on a walk to help keep the Earth beautiful.
I think with Autism there is a need for a sense of accomplishment. Maybe in normally developed kids too, I just only know autistic kids. I find having a goal or project helps keep us all focused and also gives us many memories while spending quality time together. I also find my kids talk to and open up to me more when we are working on an objective together. Communication is such a blessing to me. My older two didn’t call me Momma until 4 years of age & my youngest still hasn’t. I think when you see everyone else getting things you aren’t you appreciate it much more when your day finally comes.
Communication comes in all forms though. Not just speech. Body language, song, facial expressions, yips of cheer and clapping. I will take whatever form my children want to use and speak their language until they can speak mine.
acurbsideprophet 
Beautifully inspiringly