Marriage: a legally and socially sanctioned union.
I’ve been married twice. The first time, I was young and it was alright until I realized it wasn’t. I did get my two older kids though and that made it all worthwhile. After that, I never wanted to get married again. It was like a checklist.
Boxed checked, no need to revisit that. I dated a bit and always stumbled when we got the part about my 2 autistic kids. Honestly, I blame nobody for that. That is a serious amount of baggage. I may have steered clear myself if roles were reversed.
When I started seeing my current husband, it was more about sharing life together, kids included. He traveled a lot for work and we would hop in the van during the summer and drive to wherever he was. He took us to Dino cafes & dig sites, Build-a-Bear, Mini Golf, alligator feedings, and whatever fun attractions were nearby. He played with them and valued who they are. We talked about marriage and it was never really a priority for me. A couple years later, I found myself pregnant. I was happy. He was a good man and would be an amazing Father, but I still didn’t need to get married. In fact, now I didn’t want to because I didn’t want him to think he HAD to because of the baby. Yes, he wanted to marry me before I was pregnant, I just didn’t want to risk divorce again.
The summer before Xander turned one, I finally agreed. It was important to him. He wanted a full family. He even wanted to adopt my older children. Since then we’ve had some serious highs and lows. He has never faltered. His unwavering love reminds me of my Grandparents.
My Grandfather loved my Grandmother unconditionally through all of her trials. He supported her creativity and they spent so much time together bird watching all over the country, gardening, and attending concerts. They spent many summers in Michigan at the very cottage that revives my soul each year.
He loved her deeply. My husband loves me deeply. That kind of deeply. Through all my brokenness. He is here encouraging me to write, paint, read, & evolve into the person that the Lord needs me to be. I share this today because today is my Grandparents’ wedding anniversary. A true example of love. I hope they are slow dancing in Heaven.
September 7th, 1946 – The wedding anniversary of an incredible couple.